Syobon Action: The Game of Pure Evil

So I've decided to make a change after trying this out for a while. Since most of the games I review here are pretty short and, well, let's face it, I only get viewers when I've got new stuff, I'm going to start putting the reviews out more often. Tuesdays and Fridays, to be exact. I hope you all enjoy what I'm doing here, because I hope to be doing this for a long time. Anyway, On to Syobon Action!

I will not lie to you. This game is evil. Prepare for that when you, the poor curious soul you are, eventually download this amalgamation of unmitigated torment. Black demons from the depths forged this game from the screaming souls of the damned, and it's very code is written with the pen used for infernal pacts with the unholy Fiend himself. I've taken to calling it "Ragequit: the Game" when I whisper of it to my wife, hidden beneath the blankets in fear of such villainy being heard by other mortal ears. It's true name shall not be uttered lest the speaker should unwittingly summon the unending death known by that dark tongue. Behold its treachery:


Having gotten that all out of the way, the game is surprisingly fun. The first impression I got of the game was a start screen politely demanding that I "Prece Enter Key." The rest of the text is in Japanese, which adds to the frustration, since I cannot read Japanese. There are helpful hints scattered throughout the game in little boxes with some sort of fruit on them, and by level 3, I had convinced myself that those unintelligible tomes held step-by-step instructions to the successful accomplishment of the game and maybe even life itself. 4-button d-pad controls simplify even the Super Mario Bros. format it emulates, but there is nothing simple about this game. Infuriating traps, pitfalls and unkillable enemies await within the four diabolical levels modeled after world 1 of the NES classic. There are infinite lives, but it counts down from 2 until hours later you find yourself well into the negative hundreds. That's right. It counts your lives into the negatives to mock you. The puzzles are well thought out and flexible, and I found myself thinking in new ways, which ingratiated the game with me. The fact that I continued to play the game well after my rage threw me into purple-faced seizures, denying my normally calm character, is a testament to the game's addictive playability. I was a man crazed, overcome by pride, loathing the very thought that this game would beat me.

In conclusion, I plead with you, dear readers; do not play this game. For the sake of your soul, for the sake of your sanity, for the sake of the very fabric of the universe, do not enter into communion with this brightly colored 16-bit demon. I write to you, a battered and broken husk of a man, warning you not to cross over into this realm, the horrors of which will reduce you to the aforementioned husk state. Avoid it unless you want an entertaining game full of tricks, puzzles and unending laughs at the expense of your friends.
http://www.acid-play.com/download/syobon-action/

Do the right thing, people. Play indie games. Raise awareness of inadequate health-care among the lower class.